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Gayle Rankin, Judith Godrèche; Comedy; Runtime - 94 Minutes; 2019; USA; directed by - Michael Angelo Covino. 
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Pod górkę download. Pod górkę download 2017. Pod górkę download version. Full movie worldfree4u hd in hindi What"a" cool"Movie? WHO. Pod górkę download game. "The Climb" Single by Miley Cyrus from the album Hannah Montana: The Movie Released March 5, 2009 Format CD single digital download Genre Country pop Length 3: 56 Label Hollywood Songwriter(s) Jessi Alexander Jon Mabe Producer(s) John Shanks Miley Cyrus singles chronology " Fly on the Wall. 2008) The Climb. 2009) Hoedown Throwdown. 2009) Music video "The Climb" on YouTube " The Climb " is a song performed by American singer Miley Cyrus, for the 2009 film Hannah Montana: The Movie. The song was written by Jessi Alexander and Jon Mabe, and produced by John Shanks. It was released on March 5, 2009, as the lead single of the film's soundtrack by Walt Disney Records, and is also included as a bonus track on the international release of The Time of Our Lives. [1] The song is a power ballad with lyrics that describe life as a difficult but rewarding journey. It is styled as a country pop ballad, and was Cyrus' first solo song to be released to country radio. The instrumentation includes piano, guitar, and violins. The song received a nomination for the Best Song Written for a Motion Picture, Television, or Other Visual Media at the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards. However, the song was withdrawn from consideration by Walt Disney Records because it had not been written specifically for a movie as the category's eligibility rules required. The song became a top-10 single on charts in Australia, Canada, Norway, and the United States. In the United States, it peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100 and became the eighth-best selling digital single of 2009. Five months after its release, the single was certified triple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. The song's accompanying music video was directed by Matthew Rolston, and depicts scenes of Cyrus climbing a mountain or singing, intercut with clips of Hannah Montana: The Movie. Cyrus promoted the song with several live performances. Cyrus performed the song as the closing number of her Wonder World Tour. The song was also performed during the Gypsy Heart Tour. "The Climb" has been covered by several artists and was the most popular choice of song among auditioners for the ninth season of the American singing contest, American Idol, with Hollie Cavanagh performing it in the top six of the 11th season. Simon Cowell, creator of the British television talent show The X Factor, chose "The Climb" to be the debut single of the winner of the competition's sixth series. Winner Joe McElderry 's cover, released on December 14, 2009 by Syco Music, was produced by Quiz & Larossi and topped the Irish Singles Chart and the UK Singles Chart. Before its official release, the song was premiered at Kids Inaugural: We Are the Future" event on January 19, 2009. [2] Background [ edit] The Climb" was not intentionally written for the 2009 musical film Hannah Montana: The Movie. Co-writer Jessi Alexander conceived the song's melody while driving to the home of songwriting partner Jon Mabe. Once she arrived, Mabe and she developed a song about overcoming life's obstacles inspired by their personal struggles in the music industry. [3] Alexander referred to the process as a form of "therapy" 4] and recalled, I was just driving to work one day. It's just a typical day, nothing really special about that day. And I just had this melody in my head. And I couldn't get to my co-writer Jon Mabe or my guitar fast enough because I just wanted to play what I was hearing. And, you know, we just kinda put it down pretty fast and didn't really think anything about it. The lyrics kinda started to come, I think for both of us, being kinda underdogs in the business. My co-writer was a songplugger, just turned songwriter, and I'd had record deals and ups and downs in the music business. I think for both of us, we just came from a place of, you know, it's not a race. 3] The song they created was titled "It's the Climb" and was written in the third person. [5] Alexander described the original song as "more spiritual " than the version that was released, and said it contained lines about prayer. However, she claimed she knew it was pop and suitable for the Walt Disney Company. [5] Before reaching Cyrus, the song had been rejected by several country artists. It was eventually picked up by Peter Chelsom, director of Hannah Montana: The Movie, who gave it to Cyrus to record for the film. [4] Chelsom found what would become "The Climb" while visiting Nashville, Tennessee, during a quest to find 11 new songs for the movie. [5] After hearing Alexander's music, Chelsom asked her to submit songs for consideration. Alexander recorded "It's the Climb" on a CD and gave it to him. Several weeks later, Chelsom called to say, the song was gonna be an integral part of the movie. 5] However, he wanted Mabe and Alexander to rework some of the song's content and to change the song from third person to first person. [5] Alexander felt the changes amounted to a "substantial amount of the song" and commented, For me, when you change something from third person to first person, it can change the whole meaning of a line. 5] Mabe and she "wrestl[ed] over taking words out" and how much they could change while maintaining the song's integrity. [5] After a number of drafts, Mabe and Alexander finally created a version they felt was "perfect for the movie. 5] Upon receiving the final draft, filmmakers told the songwriters, This is perfect for Miley, its gonna change her life, gonna change your life. 5] Chelsom commented that the song "turned up" the film's music level by tapping into Cyrus's newfound vocal range. [6] As with the other songs featured in Hannah Montana: The Movie, the song is "tightly woven into the fabric of the story and the characters. 7] In the film, Cyrus plays Miley Stewart, a character with a secret double life as superstar Hannah Montana. Keeping this secret causes trouble between Miley and many of the other characters in the film, and leaves Miley confused and contrite. She expresses her emotions by writing "The Climb. 7] According to film producer Alfred Gough, The song is her journey, the lessons she's learned in the movie. It's an epic. power ballad that encapsulates Miley's journey and the message of the film. 7] The Climb" was chosen as the lead single from the soundtrack due to its country elements, which introduced Cyrus to listeners beyond her usual pop audience. [8] The song is Cyrus's first solo effort marketed directly to country radio, though she had previously recorded and released a country duet with her father, Billy Ray Cyrus, which was titled " Ready, Set, Don't Go. in 2007. Warren Truitt of [ unreliable source. referred to the song as "Miley's serious attempt to break into the contemporary country world. 9] In October 2009, it was re-released to countries outside the United States in the international version of Cyrus' extended play, The Time of Our Lives. [10] Composition [ edit] The Climb" is a country pop power ballad that incorporates soft rock and pop rock styles [11] 12] and lasts 3 minutes and 55 seconds. [13] However, at two minutes and forty-five seconds, a "sudden, spiky burst of violins" enters the song, and the song switches to full power. [14] Todd Martens, co-editor of the Los Angeles Times music column, says Cyrus uses "a raspy voice [that] brings a bit of country grit" to the song. [14] The Climb" is set in common time at a moderate tempo of 80 beats per minute. [15] The song is sung in the key of E major and Cyrus's vocals span one and a half octaves, from E 3 to C# 5. [15] The song uses a standard-issue ballad arrangement [14] with the chord progression, E5—Asus2—F♯7sus. [15] According to music reviewer Fraser McAlpine of the BBC, the song's lyrics assert that life should be viewed as "a journey which is difficult but rewarding. 16] Both Martens and McAlpine took special interest in the line "It's always gonna be an uphill battle/Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Martens interpreted the line as an acknowledgment by the singer of her own mistakes in life, 14] while McAlpine wrote, In this song which is about plugging away at things, the writers have slipped in. that the occasional setback isn't the end of the world. 16] Critical reception [ edit] Critical reception for the song was generally positive. Fraser McAlpine of the BBC felt the song's lyrics were generic, but complimented Cyrus vocals: Miley acquits herself well vocally — there are moments where her voice sounds a tad strained, but it's good to hear her on a track that's a little more subdued and with less frantic production than the uptempo, sassy pop songs we're used to. 16] Michael Menachem of Billboard magazine called the song "one of the year's strongest ballads. 17] Wesley Morris of The Boston Globe praised "The Climb" for being a "pretty liberation anthem. 18] Leah Greenblatt of Entertainment Weekly said, On tunes like. The Climb' the 16-year-old Tennessee native turns up her homegrown inflections, but a few elongated r's won't exactly shut out her huge pop audience. 8] Todd Martens of The Los Angeles Times believed that "The Climb" was "buried in cheese" and described it as "pre- Valentine's Day gooeyness. 14] However, Martens said. The Climb' is the rare Miley ballad that's on par with some of her more spunky teen pop. 14] Heather Phares of Allmusic said, the best songs that Cyrus sings on the soundtrack have her own name on them. She also made musical comparisons to Shania Twain and described the song as "natural. down to earth and grown-up. 11] While reviewing The Time of Our Lives, Michael Hann of The Guardian called "The Climb" a "one rather superior ballad" compared to "When I Look at You" and "Obsessed. 19] Hann said the song was added to the extended play to "add some ballast since this collection's US release. 19] Jon Caraminica of The New York Times described "The Climb" as an "appealing new single [that] is just the sort of demure, inspirational country-rock that could easily be mistaken for self-reckoning. 20] While reviewing a concert performance, James Reed of The Boston Globe called the song "bland but inspirational fare. 21] Awards and nominations [ edit] The Climb" won " Best Song from a Movie " at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards [22] and "Music Choice: Single" at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards. [23] At the 52nd Grammy Awards, The Climb" received a nomination for the Best Song Written for a Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media, a songwriter's award. However, Walt Disney Records withdrew the song from consideration because the song was not "written specifically for a motion picture, television or other visual media" as the Grammy eligibility rules dictated. According to Rolling Stone, The Climb" was submitted for consideration by mistake. [24] The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (NARAS) the presenters of the Grammy Awards, released a statement stating, Walt Disney Records was proactive and forthcoming to our awards department and verified that the song was not written specifically for the film Hannah Montana: The Movie. Based on this information, the Academy has complied with the label's request. 25] NARAS replaced the nomination with the song with the next highest initial vote count. All is Love. which was written by Karen O and Nick Zinner for the film Where the Wild Things Are. [24] Dan Milliken of Country Universe gave the song a D. His review consisted solely of two motivational posters: one reading "Life: Its [ sic] not about the destination, but the journey" to describe the song's content, and a mock poster reading "Success: Everything is easy when you're cute" for his actual review. He later expanded his review, calling it "a soulless rephrasing of an extremely famous philosophical message (so famous it borders on cliche) that doesnt provide an emotionally coherent context or justification. Milliken gave the song a higher grade because "shes a pretty good singer for someone her age. 26] Commercial performance [ edit] On the week ending March 7, 2009, The Climb" debuted at number 48 on Billboard ' s Hot Country Songs. It was, incidentally, the same week that " Back to Tennessee. by Cyrus's father, Billy Ray Cyrus, debuted at number 59, the first time a father and daughter had separate charting songs on the chart since Johnny and Rosanne Cash charted in 1990 with "Silver Stallion" and "One Step Over the Line" respectively. [27] The Climb" eventually peaked at number 25 on the country-genre chart. [28] For the week ending March 21, 2009, the song debuted at number six on the Billboard Hot 100 due to sales of 166, 000 digital downloads, 29] thus making "The Climb" Cyrus's highest-charting effort at the time, surpassing her previous best-charting effort " 7 Things. which peaked at number nine in July 2008. [29] For the week ending May 2, 2009, the song reached its peak at number four on the Hot 100. [30] The Climb" also peaked at number seven on the Pop 100 chart, 42 on Hot Christian Songs, and at number one for 15 consecutive weeks on Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks. [28] Cyrus became the youngest artist to top Adult Contemporary since LeAnn Rimes entered the chart in 1997 with " How Do I Live. 31] According to Billboard, The Climb" was the eighth best selling digital single of 2009. [32] The single was certified triple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for the sales of over two million copies. [33] As of January 2014, The Climb" has sold 3, 709, 000 copies in the United States. [34] In Canada, The Climb" entered at number 17 and eventually peaked at number five. [35] The single was certified triple platinum by Music Canada for the sales of 240, 000 digital downloads. [36] The Climb" was also a success in Australia and New Zealand. The song made its debut on the Australian Singles Chart at number 46 on April 19, 2009. [37] After 10 weeks on the chart, The Climb" reached number five on the chart, where it stayed for two consecutive weeks. [37] The Climb" was placed at number 84 on the decade-end Australian Singles Chart. [38] The song has been certified platinum by the Australian Recording Industry Association for sales above 70, 000. [39] The Climb" debuted in the New Zealand Singles Chart at number 25 on April 13, 2009, and reached its peak at number 12 on June 15, 2009. [40] On September 4, 2009, it was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of New Zealand for sales exceeding 7, 500 copies. citation needed] In the UK Singles Chart, The Climb" made its entry at number 82 on March 28, 2009, and reached its peak at number 11 on June 16, 2009. [41] With its peak at number 11, it tied for Cyrus's best-charting effort on the chart with " See You Again " from October 2008. [42] The single was certified silver by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for the shipment of over 200, 000 copies. [43] In Ireland, the song also peaked at number 11. [35] In mainland Europe, the song peaked at number 23 on Eurochart Hot 100 Singles, number 11 on Belgian Tip Singles Chart (Flanders) and number five on Norwegian Singles Chart. [28] 44] 45] The song experienced similar commercial outcomes throughout the rest of Europe; it appeared within the top 30 of charts in Austria, Belgium (Wallonia) and France. [35] Music video [ edit] Matthew Rolston directed the music video for "The Climb. citation needed] which premiered on Cyrus's Myspace page on February 11, 2009. [46] The video commences with a shot of Cyrus holding a guitar and a suitcase as she begins to walk down a long path extending through a valley. At the end of the valley, the sun breaks out over a distant mountain. The entire scene is enhanced with computer-generated imagery. [47] Cyrus has her hair tied in a bun and wears a traveling jacket, a gray tank top, and cowboy boots. In a separate setting, Cyrus, wearing a gray short-sleeved shirt and her hair loose, begins to sing "The Climb" beneath a blue spotlight in a purple room. The two settings alternate throughout the video. A vignetted scene from Hannah Montana: The Movie appears in front of Cyrus as she walks on the path. The video zooms into the scene and a montage of film clips plays, featuring Cyrus's character and her love interest, Travis Brody (played by Lucas Till) horseback riding. The video returns to Cyrus walking; she picks up a rose fallen on the path, then throws it behind her. As the video progresses, she also sees things such as a herd of horses and a shooting star cross her path. [14] A new setting enters the video in which Cyrus dances in a purple room with a countdown, or occasionally, film clips projected on the wall behind her. Rain begins to pour in the path setting. Cyrus puts down her jacket, guitar case, suitcase, and boots, and continues onwards with only her guitar strapped to her shoulder. More film clip montages play in the same manner as the first. As the last montage ends, Cyrus finally reaches the summit of a reddish, CGI mountain and triumphantly looks over the cliff's edge to watch the sun shining over a shimmering lake. [47] An alternate version of the music video excluding the Hannah Montana: The Movie clips exists and was sent to several channels, including VH1. [48] Todd Martens of the Los Angeles Times wrote that while he enjoyed the song, he was unsure about the video. He commented that while the video was an improvement since Cyrus's video for " 7 Things. 2008) the settings in "The Climb" music video looked as though they had been painted by Thomas Kinkade and Cyrus's dancing appeared off-beat. [14] Travis of MTV described the video as "beautifully shot (although heavily digitized. 49] Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo! Music remarked that the summit setting was similar to that of the music video for Britney Spears. I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. 47] Parker also felt the scene in which Cyrus looks out over the cliff, shot using large sweeps with an aerial camera, had been "lifted straight out of an '80s Bon Jovi video. 47] 50] In 2009, the video received a MuchMusic Video nomination for Best International Artist Video, but lost to Lady Gaga 's music video for " Poker Face. 51] Live performances [ edit] Cyrus opened the Kids' Inaugural: We Are the Future" event with the premiere of "The Climb. The event was held on January 19, 2009, in Washington DC, at the Verizon Center to celebrate the inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States. [52] 53] Cyrus, dressed in an embroidered red ball gown made by Reem Acra, dedicated the song to Obama's daughters, Sasha and Malia Obama. [54] Following the song's official release in March 2009, Cyrus resumed promotion for "The Climb" performing live for shows including American Idol, 55] The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 56] the 44th annual Academy of Country Music Awards, 57] Good Morning America, 58] and Live with Regis and Kelly throughout April. [59] On April 13, Cyrus performed "The Climb" as part of her set for the Sessions@AOL. [60] On April 24, Cyrus sang "The Climb" and other songs in a London Apple Store. [61] The performances were recorded and sold exclusively by the United Kingdom iTunes Store as a live extended play titled iTunes Live from London. [61] On June 7, 2009, Cyrus performed the song at the 20th annual A Time for Heroes Celebrity Carnival, an outdoor carnival supporting the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. [62] Cyrus also sang "The Climb" on The Today Show on August 28 [63] 64] and at the first D23 Expo on September 11, 2009. [65] To promote the Hannah Montana: The Movie soundtrack, Cyrus performed "The Climb" on a six-day, five-city acoustic radio promotional tour that reached over 250 radio shows. [66] The song was also used as the closing number of Cyrus' 2009 Wonder World Tour, her first world tour. During the tour performances, Cyrus performed in a white tank top and shorts, boots, and a metallic vest, while giant overhead video screens displayed sunsets. [67] After finishing, Cyrus exited through a passageway in the stage while the images of shooting stars and the earth in space appeared on the screen. Melinda M. Thompson of the Oregonian described the performance as "really a moment to remember — Miley's soulful and touching rendition of 'The Climb. 68] while Jim Harrington of The Oakland Tribune said the performance was a "tender closer" that drew a large response at the September 18 concert in Oakland, California, at the Oracle Arena. [69] Cyrus later performed the song at the Rock in Rio concert in Lisbon, Portugal and the London, England nightclubs Heaven and G-A-Y. citation needed] Cyrus performed the song during the Gypsy Heart Tour. She also performed this song on CNN Heroes on December 11, 2011. Six years later, in 2017, she performed the song on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, followed by an acoustic version on The Howard Stern Show, and on March 24, 2018, Cyrus performed it before a massive outdoor crowd protesting gun violence at the March For Our Lives in Washington, DC. [70] Release history [ edit] Charts and certifications [ edit] Cover versions [ edit] The Climb" has been covered several times. Mirror Image Records' indie rock group HelenaMaria covered the song and released it as a digital single in March 2009. [113] At auditions for the ninth season of the television singing competition American Idol, The Climb" was the most popular choice of song amongst contestants. [114] Alan Cumming covered the song in his cabaret tour and included it on the audio CD Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs: Live at the Cafe Carlyle. Australian Judah Kelly covered the song on his debut album, Count On Me (2017. Joe McElderry version [ edit] The Climb" Single by Joe McElderry from the album Wide Awake Released December 14, 2009 Format CD single, digital download Genre Country pop Length 3: 36 Label Syco Songwriter(s) Jessi Alexander, Jon Mabe Producer(s) Quiz & Larossi Joe McElderry singles chronology " Ambitions. 2010) Background and composition [ edit] In the same year of "The Climb's" original release, British executive Simon Cowell chose for Joe McElderry, Olly Murs, and Stacey Solomon, the three finalists of the sixth series of the British television talent contest The X Factor, to record the song in preparation for a single release as soon as the winner was announced. [115] After Solomon's elimination, Murs and McElderry sang the song on December 13, 2009, as their final performance in the competition. Upon winning the competition, McElderry's version of "The Climb" produced by Quiz & Larossi, was released on December 14, 2009 by Syco Music as the first single from his debut studio album Wide Awake (2010. citation needed] McElderry said that the lyrics to "The Climb" meant a lot to him: It's an emotional song because it's what's been happening in the last few months. It all feels very, very surreal. According to Peter Robinson of The Guardian, the cover has a "plinky" piano in its introduction. In regards to lyrics, Robinson interpreted, lines about 'uphill battles' and 'having to lose' do seem to talk of Joe's probable future. 116] Reception [ edit] Peter Robinson of The Guardian described "The Climb" as a "controversially uncontroversial choice" for a cover and continued, While 'The Climb' might be a suitable choice for a winner's single, the fact that it's a cover of such a recent song means that it's still slightly odd. 116] On the week ending 26 December 2009, The Climb" debuted at number two on the UK Singles Chart; its debut position was influenced by a campaign composed of Facebook group members, aimed at getting Rage Against the Machine 's 1992 single " Killing in the Name " to the top position during Christmas week. [117] In the following week, the song reached number one, becoming the final number one of the 2000s decade, where it maintained for a week. [118] The single was certified Platinum by the British Phonographic Industry (BPI) for shipments exceeding 600, 000 copies. [43] The song has sold 810, 000 copies in the UK as of January 2015. [119] The Climb" debuted at number one on the Irish Singles Chart on the week ending December 17, 2009, where it maintained in the top position for four consecutive weeks. [120] 121] In mainland Europe, the song charted in the Eurochart Hot 100 Singles at number four on the week ending January 9, 2010. [122] McElderry performing in a flooded cityscape in "The Climb" music video The video was shot on 16 December 2009, in London, England. The video begins with footage from The X Factor and then transitions to a close-up shot of McElderry in the main setting, a flooded cityscape — the scene was shot in a flooded set with a cityscape backdrop. McElderry is clothed by a grey vest and a grey shirt, as he stands in the setting and performs. Throughout the entire video, scenes alternate between the flooded cityscape setting and recycled footage from The X Factor, which are in black and white until it shows him in the live shows in colour. The video concludes with McElderry being informed he won the competition, hugging his peers. Track listings [ edit] Digital download "The Climb" – 3:36 CD single " Somebody to Love " – 2:38 " Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me " – 2:27 See also [ edit] List of number-one adult contemporary singles of 2009 (U. S. ) List of number-one singles of 2009 (Ireland) List of UK Singles Chart number ones of the 2000s References [ edit] "Miley Cyrus - The Time Of Our Lives. Discogs. Retrieved 16 April 2018. ^ Miley Cyrus - the Climb - Official Music Video (HQ) Video by Miley Cyrus - MySpace Video. Archived from the original on 2009-02-18. ^ a b "Songwriter Talks About Miley Cyrus Hit 'The Climb. WSMV-TV. Voxant. August 15, 2009. Archived from the original on July 24, 2011. Retrieved November 27, 2009. ^ a b Paxman, Bob (September 14, 2009. Climb Every Mountain. Country Weekly. 16 (31. ISSN 1074-3235. ^ a b c d e f g h i Alexander, Jessi (December 11, 2009. Q&A with Miley Cyrus songwriter Jessi Alexander: The Climb' being pulled from Grammy noms is 'devastating. Interview. Interviewed by Whitney Pastorek of Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved December 18, 2009. ^ UK Premiere – Hannah Montana The Movie. iTunes Store. Apple, Inc. Archived from the original on November 6, 2012. Retrieved November 11, 2009. ^ a b c "Hannah Montana The Movie Production Notes" PDF. Walt Disney Pictures. Archived from the original (PDF) on November 18, 2009. Retrieved November 11, 2009. ^ a b Greenblatt, Leah (March 18, 2009. Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009. Entertainment Weekly. Time Warner, Inc. Retrieved October 9, 2009. ^ Truitt, Warren. "Miley Cyrus – Hannah Montana: The Movie Soundtrack. The New York Times Company. Archived from the original on April 12, 2014. Retrieved October 8, 2009. ^ The Time of Our Lives: Miley Cyrus: MP3 Downloads. Retrieved October 4, 2009. ^ a b Phares, Heather. "Hannah Montana: The Movie [Soundtrack. Review. Allmusic. Macrovision Corporation. Retrieved October 8, 2009. ^ allmusic { The Climb [3 Track. Overview. Retrieved November 14, 2009... Climb: Miley Cyrus: Music. Retrieved August 10, 2009. ^ a b c d e f g h Martens, Todd (February 13, 2009. Miley Cyrus' The Climb: Yes, be excited. Los Angeles Times. Tribune Company. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ a b c "Digital sheet music – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Music. Alfred Publishing. 2009-03-20. Retrieved November 11, 2009. ^ a b c McAlpine, Fraser (April 22, 2009. Miley Cyrus – 'The Climb. BBC. BBC Online. Retrieved November 16, 2009. ^ Menachem, Michael (August 24, 2009. Miley Cyrus, Party in the U. A. Billboard. Nielsen Business Media, Inc. Retrieved November 16, 2009. ^ Morris, Wesley (April 10, 2009. The screen is bigger, but 'Hannah' is still keeping a secret. The Boston Globe. Retrieved October 21, 2009. ^ a b Hann, Michael (November 20, 2009. Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009. London: Guardian Media Group. Retrieved November 20, 2009. ^ Caraminica, Jon (March 13, 2009. The New York Times. Retrieved November 20, 2009. ^ Reed, James (November 10, 2009. Cyrus rocks Garden but keeps it in check. Retrieved November 10, 2009. ^ 2009 MTV Movie Awards l Winners. MTV Movie Awards. Viacom. Retrieved November 15, 2009. ^ Teen Choice Awards 2009 Music. Teen Choice Awards. News Corporation. Archived from the original on October 19, 2009. Retrieved October 19, 2009. ^ a b Harris, Chris (December 10, 2009. Karen O Gets "Wild Things" Grammy Nod After Cyrus Withdraws "The Climb. Rolling Stone. Wenner Media LLC. Retrieved December 10, 2009. ^ Morris, Christopher (December 10, 2009. The 52nd Grammy Awards Nominees List. Variety. Reed Business Information. Retrieved December 10, 2009. ^ Milliken, Dan (2009-03-12. Miley Cyrus — "The Climb. Country Universe. Retrieved 2009-03-26. ^ Trust, Gary (December 15, 2009. Best of 2009: Part 1. Retrieved March 5, 2011. ^ a b c "Miley Cyrus > Charts & Awards > Billboard Singles. Retrieved November 20, 2009. ^ a b Caulfield, Keith (March 12, 2009. Miley Cyrus' Climb' Debuts High On Hot 100. Los Angeles: Nielsen Business Media, Inc. Retrieved November 15, 2009. ^ Pietroluongo, Silvio; Keith Caulfield (April 23, 2009. Eminem, Green Day Make Big Hot 100 Debuts. Miami and Los Angeles: Nielsen Business Media, Inc. Retrieved November 6, 2009. ^ Trust, Gary (December 16, 2009. Best of 2009: Part 2. Retrieved March 5, 2011. ^ Grein, Paul (December 16, 2009. Chart Watch Extra: Down To The Wire. Archived from the original on December 19, 2009. Retrieved December 18, 2009. ^ American single certifications – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Recording Industry Association of America. Retrieved November 11, 2009. If necessary, click Advanced, then click Format, then select Single, then click SEARCH. ^ a b Paul Grein (January 8, 2013. Chart Watch: Pitbull & Kesha & Eminem & RiRi. Yahoo Music. ^ a b c "Miley Cyrus – The Climb – Music Charts. Retrieved November 21, 2009. ^ Gold and Platinum. Music Canada. Archived from the original on November 15, 2011. Retrieved July 11, 2011. ^ a b "Miley-Cyrus – The Climb (Song. Hung Medien. Retrieved November 21, 2009. ^ a b McCabe, Kathy (January 7, 2010. Delta Goodrem's talents top the charts. The Daily Telegraph. New Limited. Retrieved July 29, 2010. ^ ARIA Charts – Accreditations – 2009 Singles. Australian Recording Industry Association. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus – The Climb (Song. Retrieved November 22, 2009. ^ The Official Charts Company – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Official Charts Company. The Official Charts Company. Retrieved November 22, 2009. ^ The Official Charts Company – Miley Cyrus. Retrieved November 22, 2009. ^ a b "BPI – Certified Awards Search. British Phonographic Industry. Archived from the original on September 24, 2009. Retrieved January 2, 2010. ^ Miley Cyrus – The Climb (Nummer. Ultratop (in Dutch. Retrieved November 22, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus – The Climb – Official Music Video. Myspace. Fox Interactive Media. Archived from the original on 2009-02-18. ^ a b c d Parker, Lyndsey (March 4, 2009. Miley Cyrus: Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. Yahoo! Music. Yahoo. Retrieved August 10, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus l The Climb. VH. Vicaom. Retrieved November 17, 2009. ^ Travis (March 24, 2009. Manic Miley Cyrus Movie Friday. MTV. Retrieved November 17, 2009. ^ The Climb. The Walt Disney Company. Retrieved August 10, 2009. ^ MuchMusic Video Awards 2009 Nominees. MuchMusic Video Awards. Archived from the original on April 7, 2010. Retrieved November 17, 2009. ^ Presidential Inaugural Committee Announces Talent Lineup for Neighborhood Inaugural Ball and Kids' Inaugural Concert" Press release. Disney Channel. January 13, 2009. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Vena, Jocelyn (January 19, 2009. Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus Entertain Vets (And Obamas) At 'Kids' Inaugural. MTV News. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Snead, Elizabeth (January 13, 2009. VIDEO: Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers at Kids Inaugural Concert! How hot are they. Zap2it. Tribune Media Services. Archived from the original on 2009-12-31. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Kaufman, Gil (April 9, 2009. Miley Cyrus To Perform On 'American Idol. Retrieved October 10, 2009. ^ The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Miley Cyrus; Tom Lennon. CBS Interactive. Retrieved October 10, 2009. ^ Vena, Jocelyn (March 26, 2009. Miley Cyrus To Perform At Academy Of Country Music Awards. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Agostini, Evan (April 8, 2009. Star Tracks: Wednesday, April 08, 2009 – 'Morning Glory' Miley Cyrus. People. Retrieved November 7, 2009. ^ Oldenburg, Ann (March 16, 2009. Regis and Kelly' roll out the red carpet. USA Today. Gannett Company. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus – "The Climb (Sessions. AOL. Archived from the original on 2009-04-17. Retrieved October 10, 2009. ^ a b "iTunes: Live from London. iTunes Store United Kingdom. Apple Inc. Retrieved November 7, 2009. permanent dead link] "Miley Cyrus – A Time for Heroes Celebrity Carnival. InStyle. IPC Media. June 8, 2009. Archived from the original on June 12, 2009. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Vena, Jocelyn (August 28, 2009. Miley Cyrus Talks about Her 'Mistakes' on 'Today' Show. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Vena, Jocelyn (August 13, 2009. Miley Cyrus To Replace Mariah Carey On 'Today' Show. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Vargas-Cooper, Natasha (November 14, 2009. Uh Oh! Are Disney Fans Turning on Miley. E. Comcast. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus – The Climb (Acoustic Radio Tour '09. Hollywood Records ( Flash. YouTube. April 30, 2009. Event occurs at 0:00–0:10. ^ Cameron, Kirsty (September 16, 2009. Miley Cyrus: Hannah Montana Star Kicks Off Tour. London: Telegraph Media Group. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Thompson, Melinda M. (September 15, 2009. Review: Miley Cyrus Rocks the Rose Garden as She Kicks off Tour in Portland. The Oregonian. Advance Publications. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Harrington, Jim (September 19, 2009. Concert Review: Miley Cyrus Leaves Hannah Montana Behind at Oakland Show. Oakland Tribune. MediaNews Group. Retrieved November 17, 2009. ^ Miley Cyrus Just Performed 'The Climb' at March for Our Lives and It Was Beyond Emotional. Cosmopolitan. 24 March 2018. Retrieved March 25, 2018. ^ The Climb. 24 April 2009. Retrieved 16 April 2018 – via Amazon... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. ARIA Top 50 Singles... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb" in German. Ö3 Austria Top 40... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb" in Dutch. Ultratip... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb" in French. Ultratip. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Canadian Hot 100. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Canada AC. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Canada CHR/Top 40. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Canada Country. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Canada Hot AC. Billboard... ČNS IFPI" in Czech. Hitparáda – Radio Top 100 Oficiální. IFPI Czech Republic. Note: Change the chart to CZ – RADIO – TOP 100 and insert 200929 into search... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Tracklisten... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb" in French. Les classement single... – Miley Cyrus Single-Chartverfolgung" in German. Media Control Charts. PhonoNet GmbH... The Irish Charts – Search Results – The Climb. Irish Singles Chart. Retrieved January 15, 2020... –. artist. –. song. Top Digital Download... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Top 40 Singles... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. VG-lista. ^ Official Scottish Singles Sales Chart Top 100. Official Charts Company... ČNS IFPI" in Slovak. Hitparáda – Radio Top 100 Oficiálna. Note: insert 200931 into search... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb" Canciones Top 50... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Singles Top 100... – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Swiss Singles Chart. ^ Official Singles Chart Top 100. Official Charts Company. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Hot 100. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Adult Contemporary. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Adult Pop Songs. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Hot Country Songs. Billboard. ^ Miley Cyrus Chart History (Pop Songs. Billboard. ^ ARIA Charts – Accreditations – 2013 Singles. Australian Recording Industry Association. ^ Canadian single certifications – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Music Canada. ^ British single certifications – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. Select singles in the Format field. Select Platinum in the Certification field. Type The Climb in the "Search BPI Awards" field and then press Enter. ^ American single certifications – Miley Cyrus – The Climb. ^ ARIA Charts – End Of Year Charts – Top 100 Singles 2009. Retrieved March 13, 2010. ^ Best of 2009 – Canadian Hot 100 Songs. Archived from the original on March 13, 2010. Retrieved March 12, 2010. ^ END OF YEAR CHARTS 2010. Recording Industry Association of New Zealand. Retrieved June 4, 2013. ^ UK Year-end Songs 2009" PDF. ChartsPlus. p. 5. Retrieved June 14, 2010. ^ Best of 2009 – Hot 100 Songs. Retrieved March 12, 2010. ^ Adult Contemporary Songs - Year-End 2009. Retrieved February 22, 2018. ^ Adult Pop Songs - Year-End 2009. Retrieved February 22, 2018. ^ Pop Songs - Year-End 2009. Retrieved February 22, 2018. ^ Adult Contemporary Songs - Year-End 2010. Retrieved February 22, 2018... The Climb (Miley Cyrus Cover: HelenaMaria: MP3 Downloads. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Bierly, Mandi (July 15, 2009. American Idol' Miley Cyrus' The Climb' was the most popular audition song. Time Warner. Inc. Retrieved November 14, 2009. ^ Simon Cowell choses 'The Climb' for X Factor. Hollywood Records. December 3, 2009. Archived from the original on December 3, 2009. Retrieved December 3, 2009. ^ a b Robinson, Peter (December 14, 2009. Does The Climb lack the X Factor. The Guardian. Retrieved March 30, 2010. ^ Sexton, Paul (December 21, 2009. Rage Against The Machine Beats 'X Factor' To U. K. Xmas No. 1. Prometheus Global Media. Retrieved March 30, 2010. ^ a b "Official Scottish Singles Sales Chart Top 100. Official Charts Company. ^ a b Myers, Justin (9 January 2015. Number 1 today in 2010: Lady Gaga's Bad Romance returns to the top. Retrieved 12 January 2015. ^ a b "Discography Joe McElderry. Irish Recorded Music Association. Retrieved March 30, 2010. ^ Joe McElderry – The Climb – Music Charts. Retrieved March 30, 2009. ^ a b "European Hot 100 – Week of January 9, 2010. Archived from the original on September 5, 2008. Retrieved March 30, 2010. ^ Top 20 Albums. Retrieved June 17, 2010. ^ Yates, Reggie (December 31, 2009. Chart of the Year 2009. Retrieved March 30, 2010. ^ British single certifications – Joe McElderry – The Climb. Type The Climb in the "Search BPI Awards" field and then press Enter. External links [ edit] The Climb" by Miley Cyrus on YouTube.
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Pod górkÄ™ download free. Pod górkę download pc. I can almost see it That dream I'm dreaming But, there's a voice inside my head saying You'll never reach it Every step I'm taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking But I, I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose Ain't about how fast I get there Ain't about what's waiting on the other side It's the climb The struggles I'm facing The chances I'm taking Sometimes might knock me down, but No, I'm not breaking I may not know it But these are the moments, that I'm gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep going And I, I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on, cause Yeah Sometimes you're gonna have to lose Yeah, yeah Keep on moving, keep climbing Keep the faith, baby It's all about, it's all about the climb Keep your faith, keep your faith Whoa Writer(s) Jessi Alexander, Jon Mabe Lyrics powered by.
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Tl;dr: I did ecstasy with someone I just met and helped them through their shame and trauma and you can read about it here instead of asking for a tl;dr because Im a motherfucking *storyteller* tl;dr 2. 0: okay you can skip part 1 if you must but dont “In Which I Became a Crackstreet MDMA Therapist (and How Theres Value Added in their Services Not Available by Official Clinicians)” ——————————————————- PART ONE My sister decided to insert herself into my life out of general older sister zeal this week. It started innocently as a concerned and welcome curiosity at first, but then, not able to comprehend or identify with my struggle navigating my anxiety disorder's newest stupefying minefield which involves complete and total procrastination. I can't even stay the slightest present when I do man up and try to apply myself. she lost her patience and proceeded to damn me for wasting her time and admonished that shes done “being my therapist for good now”. Oddly enough, if she had asked me in advance, Id have informed her that this was also the same exact view I had, and we think alike like geniuses, etc. Let me preface what I say next by saying my sister is very, very smart. She is a very hard act to follow, scoring a 1470 on SATs when 1600 was the best you could score; she won countless awards for her schools growing up because of her verbal skills, a skill she admirably took from freelance to a fashion writer position for a famous fashion magazine working directly under a certain female fashion icon who Meryl Streep was famously cast as in a B minus movie a decade or so ago. You might wonder if my sister's fate is similar to the protagonist of that film. Forget that movie. My sister is known as the second-most feared person at said publication, of which I have no doubts. I recall the time I was planned to visit her in NYC after making the three plus hour drive from Massachusetts where I attended college and when I arrived and knocked on her door, she opened it, took one good look at me, then abruptly closed the door, and emailed me that “my pants were stupid and I needed to go somewhere in this vast resource-heavy city and find some actual pants that improved on my khakis. Because my sister is someone whose idea of solving the problem of ending a sentence in a preposition is by simply adding a comma and then “damnit” before the period or exclamation mark depending on your "damnit" she also made sure to tell me “it wouldnt be hard to do with all the possible pants in New York City, so dont feel too pressured. ” Im gay but do not tell most gays I meet that my sister works in this capacity for that magazine. My gay card has been repossessed for life at least three times because of that bitch. who I love, even when shes so dense that she was unaware of the potential to trigger my PTSD in how she asked me questions about my mental health quandary of late. She was very brilliant at deducing the mechanisms of my traumas, and proved that by describing in detail the cycle she believed I was flailing through. It took me right back to those places and experiences and I was useless. About this, my busy and then-jet lagged bitch sister that I also love very much grew tired of me not answering her questions as directly as she liked. Although sister is very, very smart, she is also less emotionally intelligent than I am, and it just never fucking occurred to her that sometimes people who seem evasive and meandering when you interview them about their PTSD arent deflecting what she said, but completely submerged in it. I had to remind her that just because she had been correct at previous junctures calling me out for what indeed turned out to be bullshit, it did not assure her that any caricature of her younger brother she reached for at this moment would correctly describe my efforts this time; mental health is not exactly generic. Specifically, why would I lie about an my ability to get things done when the things I most need to do involve a that I generally love above most things? Imagine you were Winnie the Pooh, and that you were hungry. What does Winnie the Pooh have a problem with even when he's not normally hungry? Wouldn't you believe Winnie if he said he didn't know what the hell was happening to him but he's avoiding the honey tree that he's loved all his life? What could possibly be the point of saving zero face and being fully honest if I wanted to evade feeling shameful in front of her? To her credit, her philosophy about self care and mental health is very much that of a coach trying to light a fire under someone and not a doctor trying to convince them to spend more of their deductible in further appointments if the issue turned out to be psychosomatic as most do for those under 60. However, I did not want to hear “but thats bullshit” for my good faith responses to her, and so I took to reminding her that how she responds to stress and stimuli isnt how everyone does, for instance, how about our remarkably disparate upbringings where she was given a lot of autonomy because of our now late handicapped middle sister whose severe cerebral palsy consumed our moms day whereas because I was born without palsy, I was helicoptered and loaded with expectations of being a perfect, stable child because the one prior to me hadnt been and that this is a lot of pressure if she really wanted to know why I stack myself up against people as a rule and have never been able to just drop it. I never left the house this month except for my dads forcing me to for dinner and then last week when he made me start going to the gym with him in the morning, which was his way of enforcing a schedule or else he was kicking me out and “letting me be useless on the street”. Real nice for someone whos allowed his adult child to stay with him because his seasonal affective disorder in a blizzard-prone city became too much to bear on top of successfully kicking opiates, which Ill never do again in winter now for two reasons (Jesus Christ those chills. To be fair, My dad also is a coach-type; he was also raised by wolves: hes a Jerusalem alley boy whose parents fled Europe and had him at a late age for having children in that time — 17 years after his brother. My dad. and so me as well. are alive because when the early Zionists learned of what actually happened in the Europe they had fled from just in time, many older adults resolved to deliver more Jewish blood to a world that had just shed most of it, again. Unlike Jews of Yiddish Yore, Israelis are. again, raised by wolves. In the case of my dad, this couldnt be more truthful — being old and resigned and probably traumatized to learn what happened of the world and people and definitely relatives they had left behind, his parents had a very Laissez Faire attitude to rearing him. By which I mean they left it to his brother and his brothers friends. This was the first generation of Israeli children and they were rather incensed about the whole Hitler thing, quite obviously, and so it was resolved that all boys and girls would just be badasses. If they wished to be religious and removed this was fine but it was roundly viewed as enabling our enemies, and it was this style of boot camp in which my dad learned how the world worked. In Israel, gone are the emotional considerations common to your typical Jewish mother; everyone jaywalks and cusses and drives horribly and all at once, together. Its a little not unlike the Barbary Coast of Old, I imagine. I mean Ive been thrice, but my whole thing is Im almost never present. I take after my mother, who is from Michigan, and who has crippling anxiety, is overtaken every day with apoplexy and ambiguity, which heaviness we manage to resolve in a way we could never admit to our Israeli side: it by leaving things till the last minute and doing art projects and crying all night about the past instead. And it turns out there might be a place for me in the world after all! Cut to Two weeks prior. There were two exceptions to my newfangled agoraphobia: I twice met guys off of Scruff, a mean-looking vanilla hook up app of the homosexual persuasion. Dont worry, Im a crier — Those occasions that were explicitly for support for an addled mind. The first was mine, this artist name Steve who Id met the night of a PTSD flashback that made for some weird fucking dreams that woke me up in a bed of sweat around 4am and who invited me over for group play *even though I was honest about my drama. What a saint, right? I think I played with the group which is to say I probably sat far removed and kept my clothes on and looked aloof and was on my phone. But Steve and I ended up just talking about art and stuff most of the time and eventually once everyone else realized how much of a weirdo I was, they took off and Steve and I were free to just talk. the most radical form of engagement two gay men can have. I like Steve. Hes Armenian, and they know what Survivors Guilt feels like. One time he had been catering some event in Rockland, IL and thought some musical act or something. he couldnt recall what. that came in and were so cute and charming being all cool and subversive like rock n rollers are and they gave him a shirt he thought was so funny as a gay because it seemed to be about being poor slut. The shirt said “Cheap Trick” on it, and he was puzzled when my eyes lit up when he put on the shirt. He ended up giving me that shirt. Now I'm Gonna Raise Hell. He didnt make hanging contingent on playing. Which was authentic of him. Steve is a gay saint whose baby loves to rock even if hes not aware of it. Cut to Friday. The second agoraphobia exception was initially for a hookup but as truth is more often stranger than fiction for me, that would not be how the majority of the night was spent. I was chatting with a DJ and of course because Im someone that torpedos chances with new and exciting people, immediately Im talking about how difficult its been for DJs to be willing to collaborate with me and that I resent that very much. Maybe I seemed like I was sexually tense, because to this he just straight up invites me to someone elses place for group play. At this point Im d-y-i-n-g for some validation in the sickest way that Im owning in the moment and everything, which is presence, so I remembered to give myself a star. I show up in my star and immediately notice a palpable awkwardness and cant figure it out. The couple that were hosting are being super nice and but are trying to out-accommodate us, one with guns, one with butter: the daddy is offering the entire houses stock of drinks and lubes and cock rings and slings, you name it, hes got it. His Steve Buscemi-ish boy — I know, cognitive dissonance, man — would rise to this hospitable treatment by telling him to calm the fuck down and not impose everything on people before they had a moment to take there shoes and pants off, that making people feel pressured is a non-starter to poor performance later. But then he turned to both of us and assured us that if we wanted cherry coke in our sling, hed serve it in fine china and a bow tie (which might be kinky as fuck, I do love cherry coke. and that I could have whatever I wanted like the partner had said. The reason for the pretense of conflict soon manifested as naked conflict. Literally and figuratively. Turns out they were in an pretty big fight and appeared to not know another way to calm down and avoid divorce unless they invited people over for hedonistic play, which means they care enough. And, Im guessing, over the years, probably taking things to newer and higher levels of fantasy and so avoidance, so of course theres yet others in the home waiting in the den. Theres Tina, and theres Gina — meaning chemsex with ghb and what is apparently really weak and pathetic meth these days, because I remember when it was made with pseudoephedrine and people would have legit ticks and were prone to crazy talk. It didnt matter how normal you were in the cold light of day, if you got the cleanest ice direct from a Hawaiian Airlines charter from a Wall Street friend — at some point, usually within ten minutes of any point of time, the host would remove him or her or themselves from whatever activity was being. studied, and would *manically* peek out blinds or curtains, as though they were counting on the assassin that said “when you least expect it” before vanishing (dont ever say this to anyone on amphetamines, be kind. Its actually even made me less concerned of being around it, because without the crazy, methheads are really very respectable and nice people. I just cant see the point in doing a some version of a drug that leaves you all the same stigma but doesnt even give you a buzz. Sort of the same way I dont also buy candy that tastes like medicine, but I suppose to each their own. This matters. I swear. Ive also become far less judgmental at my age in what is now my upper 30s. I could never do groups before, though I suppose that choosing to show up and not strip and look at guitar pedal memes on reddit and issue laughter while everyone else is pretzeling each other and oozing with delight just shows that Im willing to be a prudish asshole in front of you now. I also really resent gay hookup cultures hang ups, because theyre actually really deadly. They make you think racism is okay because “youre not really racist”, and they continue in a time of advanced medicine and understandings to say they are “clean”, which is to say, not with HIV. I am privileged in this regard, but trust that the profiles also mark boxes excluding those with drama and baggage, and even when the boxes are checked, this is usually also in typed out as a the leading Commandment, and I could never, ever make it into Gay Heaven if thats Rule Number One. I no longer am worried about the druggie fears because they usually mean Tina and Gina, specifically Tina. As a testament, people continue talking to me when I say I am a recovering junkie. That seems to be refreshingly “dope”. But I have found that it is often those who bear the marks of the Unmuscle Bears who have been relegated to Gay Hell that are the most genuine and easy-to-talk-with-people. Importantly, Im mostly averse to the typical meth-crazy of looking out windows every ten and suddenly admitting to believing in the Trilateral Commission or other conspiracies involving Jewish Lizard Bilderbergs, and this new, weak meth just isnt bringing the crazy like it used to. Besides, it seems like its the struggling couples issue and Im here for the collaborative DJ with arm sleeves 😍. (I do make a point of declining soda after learning about the GHB, on the other hand, that stuff is pure date rape. There is one thing that I dont put together immediately, which is that there is no pipe anywhere to be seen. Its one thing if the meth is bunk, its another if its imaginary. Ill just say that they are aware its weak, and cant get high smoking it anymore. I realize when the the Dandy is showing me his glow in the dark cock ring collection that this must be a dart league, and thats not even a scene Im remotely interested in being around, because that so I do a check in with myself and find my inner bitch and mention I didnt realize it was a party n play thing after all. Almost immediately the guy who invited me over becomes profusely apologetic and self-immolating, which I construe to signify that he too felt duped. Either he actually preferred me or the fighting couple put him off more and he acts very apologetically and full of guilt, as though its his fault they inject meth. I said it was fine, I dont judge people and im not one to considering my past. I again mention that Im a recovering junkie because I want them to know that: no, Im seriously not condescending. Im also hoping they assume needles are a trigger for me (theyre not, I smoked) so it seems like Id stay if it werent for my program. This invites more questions and resistance. “Wow, I dont know if weve ever had a a real addict over. I feel pretty bad about not saying anything first, it seems like people these days just want to judge us. ” Said the person who just called me a real addict. “Haha, well, truth be told, I am not a fan of orthodoxy and have found more recovery and sobriety in harm reduction than in an anonymous program. Besides, Bill W. wanted to dose everyone as a master plan. I microdosed to help me get off stimulants, by his example. He really is the Sober guy. ” They laugh, which is great. I needed validation, damnit. They ask them about psychedelics to help with addiction and I give them the Gospel, but no actual psychedelics which are not with me at my dads. I motion to leave and begin walking to my car. Thats when my DJ come running up behind me, which is frightening at first. Maybe he had a place after all? “Do you like ecstasy? ” Whoa. Hold up there. Now were talking about the kind of inhibitions I want to shed. “Howd you know? ” “You said psychedelics. ” “Im not sure Id want to roll with them though. ” Its like a movie. He just gets into my car. He reaches into his pocket and takes out an orange pill bottle from Rite Aid and opens the cap, pouring it into his other palm. Out come two familiar domino-shaped pressies. There is what appears to be glitter specs on them, as they flicker like a disco ball (those fucking clever Dutch. He gets embarrassed by my very very round eyes. He chuckles. “Haha. What? ” I know those pills... Of course I ask what kind because Im curious if theyre legit or not and those are the fortnites I had around New Years. “What, uh, what kind are they? ” “Theyre Fortnites. ” He hands me one. I flip it over once and then again, inspecting it like the orthodox jewelers in NYC (fact: originally, it was the Dutch mob that made the MDMA and the Israeli mob who imported it into America. That was some good MDMA back in the day. Sigh. Dont bash all of Israel if you must bash. “My god. That is hilarious. ” “Theyre real, I swear. I know club people. ” “Its not that. I literally came into these same bad boys on the other side of the continent. When it rains it pours. It even has the purple glitter and ‘CP on the back divided by the break line. ” Sure enough. These are the same pills I remember. Ive seen repressed pills before, which crumble and are off center. The specs of purple glitter match the original, as does the insignia of the presser, Classy Person, who is my imaginary friend. Im a very suspicious harm reduction person. if marijuana were not legal where I live, Id use my test kit on joints. If my gut was that confident that these were the same ones I had come into that tested pure with my kit, thats a damn good sign. (note: still use a test kit even if you gut is yelling at you; I was not home with mine, and connected the contextual dots to make a calculated risk, and this is not the world's best harm reduction if you must know) Now my smile grows wide and Im the one laughing. He blushes again. “What? ” “These have a lot of MDMA in them. ” “Yeah my friend said take half. ” “Yeah you take half and it doesnt hit for 75 mins so you pop the other half and within seconds youre gone. Thats how these here suckers works. ” Hes looking at me like Im clairvoyant or secretly also on meth. “No, seriously. I ate this on New Years. And these are straight fire”. “Yeah my friends arent playing. ” “No they wouldnt be if theyre club kids. ” He smiles at me. He likes me. I want my own DJ to collaborate with. I say fuck it and eat half and he eats the other of the the other. My dad is among other things a deep sleeper and kinda oblivious, so I say its really not a bad idea at all to come back to my place. Were both musicians and we know this will end up being music and back rubs instead of fucking, and anything above that... Im cool with. Also, its hot as hell where my dad lives, but as he likes to air condition the house at night as though its an ice box, and its said neurotoxicity is largely a function of overheating. and so my place is really *safe. Somehow I easily prevail on this dad-is-fine-don't-worry logic and we pull up to the house and take the other half an hour later. We lay in my bed and I start feeling the first wavy dissociative feeling and the air looks slightly more reverberated and full. Like one always does when its the real deal, I definitely had to use the bathroom, so walked away to deal with that. PART TWO When I came back my friend had completely changed demeanor — but not for the better. Im assuming he wasnt ready for the intensity of the come up of the quality ecstasy (from France I believe) and I start rubbing his shoulders to make him feel good because this is the one and only time an ecstasy trip can turn bad if you get overwhelmed and anxious. Because Im feeling quite good for once myself I just lose myself in the rubbing and like an hour goes by until I realize Ive been kneading this guy I dont even know and he is definitely off floating somewhere in space. Sex is out of the question now which is fine. I shake him a little and he opens his entirely dilated eyes and looks at me with what is unmistakably complete and total horror. Because I know my MDMA instinct takes over and I am being really sweet and accommodating and trying to make him feel totally safe in his environment and that Im here to support him — all the stuff I read in the MDMA therapy guide from MAPS. Counselor Me took over and I spent the next five hours making this guy feel safe and not ashamed of himself and without knowing that he was someone with PTSD, he just starts tell me everything, all the abuse, all the black eyed and waking up in a puddle of his own blood. He stops every other sentence and says “I just dont know why Im telling you this, I dont ever talk about it with anyone. ” To which I just say “how does it feel to tell someone? ” He wont answer this, which I am fine with being a rhetorical question because it seems to catch his sense of free falling, which is what the statement “I cant believe Im telling you this” is projecting. There is nothing he says that is too much or too little for me. Partially I know this is because this is good ecstasy, but I also feel deep in my bones that I was cut out for this work, as Ive often in the cold light of day been told Im very imposing because I always am “deep”, to and people have often been certain to avoid associating with me in large social settings but tend to like hogging me if they get me privately; this is because Im really fucking nice and know how to let people know I see their struggles and think about them but what I cant see is what theyre dreams are so please tell me. I dont wish for or presume that my “therapy” is anywhere on the order of comparing to the real deal, and as far as I know about psychotherapy, maybe Im doing this fellow a real disservice by giving him a temporary relief from that which he holds onto without any preparation work in meditation and grounding work like holotropic breathing or practicing mindfulness and presence — all items my counselor I had enlisted for psychedelic therapy last summer had me doing in our month of weekly meetings to prepare for the main event (which I never did do since 600 was a lot but not really compared to opiates. I could kick myself) Or maybe too quickly revealing close items to someone “you cant believe youre telling this too” is a sign that the therapy is actually detrimental because the dominant sensation attending this great revealing is unease or feeling completely homeless (not familiar = homelessness = Pavlovian disaster. I dont know, but I do imagine it was probably okay because bad trips usually dont involve continued pushing forward with revealing details and usually theres screaming and fright and feeling like the walls are closing in on you or youre gonna die etc. I was not met with any of such signifiers of a difficult trip. And I do know that the hardest part about trauma is the insidious way it entrenches itself as deeply and as darkly and as hidden away as it can from you, and that shame, too, like to hide. And so to expose trauma and shame to light is the first and most important step in defeating this insidious and extremely deadly disease. Importantly, as I now I had afforded him the presence as this important person he could reveal his wounds to, I could not compromise either of our integrities by trying to turn the night back into a sexcapade, and it helped and didn't hurt when he revealed something he didn't mention until that moment: he was in fact married. And before people (that take MDMA, what am I talking about) rush to judgment, it is hardly uncommon for gay couples to be in sexually open relationships, so I just concluded that mentioning the husband before just wasn't his way of introducing himself to other people he wanted inside him, and I suppose I understand that. Now that I knew about the husband too, it really wasnt worth being the worst kind of human being that makes someone that vulnerable to you then feel like there was some payment due for the services. "Lonely as I am, together we cry. Even though Im normally not what role he wanted of me in the group, the few moments I had to explore that at the dart league house were some where and he made me feel like a natural at it. still, the whole integrity thing is pretty important to me, and unlike its crazy cousin methamphetamine, MDMA works overtime to remind you of your values. Unless youre not doing it with intent, which, it thats the case, youre abusing MDMA and you need to stop. Take meth, its less neurotoxic. As far as the husband and the fear goes, it turned out after so long that his worries about long standing fears and paranoias relating to his previous abusive relationships were not hard for him to recognize in his psyche and were only scary for him to mention because he was worried that “waking up one of the times facedown in a puddle my blood and of feeling differently” on that day and all that succeeded it was potentially a schizophrenia that he had developed or that had been triggered in the clocking that he also could not remember. I didnt know how to approach that initially but then I remembered he smoked weed and that the times Ive had the worst paranoid delusions were from no other than like a single hit of sativa, and I also remember the mental health doctors I follow on a doctors-only medical forum for mental health stating that the current understanding about dissociative identity disorder was that it was basically PTSD secondary to bipolar; the implication being that trauma and PTSD has — quite obviously if you think about it — depersonalization potentials. Especially if you were someone that has relatively good handle of executive function and processing and then flipped a switch and now youre largely in the amygdala, which is a fear controller. And a total motherfucker. I wish I could abandon mine; instead I have abandonment issues. He was scared of telling someone professionally because he was worried hed be 51/50d and put on a mental health hold on the spot. In that sense a crackstreet MDMA psychotherapist operating without a license offers even more value added than even a real MAPS-trained MDMA therapist. And yet. Something still seemed unspoken. I know my characters in a novel. There's a certain affect to a human that has more shoes to drop, or who is cosmically-endowed with a preternatural ability to feel when shoes that aren't his but might fall on him might. Sure enough, my gut was right. I had missed something. Or, if I'm to be entertained of my MDMA therapist credentials, I should say, I wasn't digging, simply feeling. I did not let him know I could sense there was more. I just stuck by him to help him feel supported, as is prescribed in the MAPS manual. It turned out, hours and hours after breaking down walls about the abuse (dont worry, not with current husband, at least I have to believe my “client”) he finally began to open up about the source of the shame that was gripping him in that moment. The abuse wasnt the current trauma. There remained a big one elephant in the room! PART THREE No drugs dilate the eyes quite like psychedelics. And of those, the hands down worst (or best. is MDMA. I suppose this is what obscured something that should have occurred to me and did not. As the sun began to come up, he slightly lifts up his covers to reveal the massive elephant. Lays it out there ever so casually. As the time was now about 6am, and I had met him at around 1:00am, he informed that we were about five hours now from the time he broke his sobriety of six years. OH MY GOD. IM AN ENABLING ASSHOLE. he continued: Yeah it happened around the time I met you, correct. "I had no idea. you just acted so casually about the Fortnites, m a terrible person, I didn't even think to inquire if this was a possibility and I'll never be so stupid again. You know, you think you make mistakes, look at me. I just wanted to gratify myself and I cost you a sobriety that meant so much to you. "Um. I meant that before you showed up I had been smoking tina with those guys. They're were fighting because I at first said I didn't want any but they passed the pipe to me and because I always have that itch, I just took it the third time and hit it. Then again ten times. I was floored. That meant we had been chatting when it happened. I probably thought I was engaging him talking about DJs that insult me. He probably grew tired of my shit and did meth because it was more bearable. He relapsed on meth. He was high on meth and I missed it and encouraged him to roll with me. This is always a danger. Dont be like me. Dont encourage people to to try drugs because they might already be on drugs and now you could kill them. Fuck. I kid, the meth is truly weaker these days. But Im not sure MDMA therapy involves a mix. I can only hope the MDMA won out. But his admission has the effect of revealing all the cards he had been holding: the particularly momentary sense of unease that was distinct from the discourse about abuse; the allusions to the husband that he insisted was absolutely not the abuser, the implications that must certainly be at play when one half of a couple has an addiction. Of course he was dealing with unrelenting hell. The husband probably has a compact about this with him. He could have just fucked up everything that matters to him. I make a choice. I hug him tight, inoffensively as a little boy would, but it is tight, and I dont stop. I admit to being shocked that this was the concern but allay that this too is familiar territory for me. And that the horror he seemed to be gripped with on good ecstasy made sense to me now. He had been the serving up the self-flagellation the whole night. All the fear, the feeling basically that he had lied to his husband who was still in Pensacola. all he could know was Just felt pure guilt. Though it makes you feel good, if its pure or approaching pure considering its made clandestinely, MDMA makes you, empathetic — precisely why its used in breakthrough PTSD and couples therapy. And because he had broken a promise to his husband that just then became my reality too, he was filled with guilt for the man he said his oaths too. Until that night, he had had been clean of meth for six years. Six whole years. He has used with those weirdos. He had been in recovery. Still. Can you imagine the shame someone trying to kick a habit and who had successfully for six years — OBAMA WAS STILL PRESIDENT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD — would be feeling? He kept saying quasi-cryptic things all night that had made me wonder at some junctures if maybe I did have a bona fide schizo on my hands... Stuff like “How do you get back? ” Or would answer my “how does it feel? ” queries with a miscarried pause and then several minutes later “Im just so lost. ” In revealing the source of his present shame and trauma — and make no mistake, this was traumatic to him — I understood where he was coming from because Ive been there myself, too. In fact I remember having a total mental health breakdown when Philip Seymour Hoffman ODd and died from heroin in 2013/2014. Specifically, I was flying home from working 9 days in a row I was underfed, overtired, and experiencing some real fatiguing, amygdala-driven processing of the article in Rolling Stone I was reading bout Hoffman on the plane. All I could think was, wow, heres someone that kicked heroin, that beast of all beasts when injected at least, spent 12 years becoming the male Merrill Streep of Hollywood and father and husband, then somehow his past eventually caught up with him anyway. All I could read into the article was that my life was inherently despairing and my destiny was not looking good. I didnt realize that that could mean anything else and not just relapse on hard drugs. That night I drank a tall shot of whisky, took sleeping pills, and managed in my hunger, to drive somewhere but nowhere I could tell you because the furthest I made it was to the local jail that night. I guess Im just saying I get very affected from things, and I knew exactly the hell this poor soul was living in. All he could think was that all was hopeless, his best defenses couldnt keep him safe even years after his mettle was tested. I stuck with him to get him through the day. On his own accord he self reported to his spouse, who chose to hang up the phone on him. I told him he had integrity and no one could take it from him; he said I didnt know what I was taking about because he surely had zero. He kept wondering why I wanted to help him. He couldnt believe why. I help people navigate horror and trauma and depersonalization because all I ever would have wanted was someone there for me when I had to experience it. As a result of my impulse to help traumatized people, Ive seen people suffer the strikes I did but not have to wallow in despair because I described the nature of the feelings and what to expect of yourself, and what to listen to. My best girlfriend who lost the same job I lost that was my greatest adult trauma ended up being something she sailed through, and her serenity helped her remain calm and cogent with the union that elected to take her case and she got her job back. She knew from me that the impulse to stay inside and hate yourself was certain no matter the nature of what you did to get fired. But that leaving the house and taking a small job would be a good way to get her mind of the terror of the moment. She did. My mom loves to ask me “why was Cristine able to get up and tie her shoes and go get a job? But you cant? ” ☺️ In summary, my new friend wouldnt stop admitting things to me and I ended up providing honest to god trauma support to someone with PTSD from abusive relationships. Im glad I did it because it broke me of the spinning around in my amygdala this month. I now understand how something that robs you of your serotonin can be just the thing for really really low and beset people, because they basically have lost their ability to process with their prefrontal cortex and are all fear response anyway, and so serotonin means jack shit at that point. Unlike some drugs that are happy to floor the impulsivity and poor judgement pedals, MDMA is one that gives me some relief from them. And I was really into listening to this guy and trying to give him support and not focused on myself at all (which was also very nice. But as I said, it gave me some relief from the amygdala which is where Ive been living more and more and I could finally forgive myself and tell myself and see that Ive really raised the ante on the negative self-talk this last year and a half. When you let someone elses pain become your focus and really suspend yourself from trying to relate — making listening and support the more important features as relating sometimes comes off as a one up — when you feel empathetic to someone else at such with such open mind and heart, its really hard to not to at least recognize the dissonance between the judgment-free open mind you quite happily and easily offer to someone else but reserve hell for yourself day in and and day out and dont even recognize the force and frequency of the deleterious thoughts you levy on yourself every goddamn day because they seem as ubiquitous as and normal as typical evergreen or stream of consciousness that floats around there. Everyone should become a crackstreet MDMA therapist Just one last question: WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET THE AMAZING PILLS FROM. AND WAS HE GOING TO BE THROWING MORE AWAY. Because. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
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